This is gonna be kind of like a vent/rant seeing as I can never voice how I feel and the only way I get it out is writing. So my life hasn’t been the easiest, but whose has to be honest? Everyone fights their battles. And from what I’ve faced, the biggest one I have trouble with is trust. I’m not going to get into why I have trust issues but what sucks the most is, is that now I have someone who I love, completely and who loves me just as much, and I’ve never had that before. He and I butt heads because were so similar but he is the only one who can make me smile when I’m completely down and even if it’s because of him. He is my best friend, my boyfriend, and literally my everything. I’ve had my first relationship and obviously you’re an idiot during that, and that’s where some of my trust issues stem from, but I feel like I’m taking it out on my boyfriend when it has nothing to do with him, at all. Which in the end is stupid on my part because I know if I don’t change that, I’m gonna lose literally one of the best things that has EVER happened to me. He makes me laugh, I can be a complete idiot around him and actually be myself and not feel like I have to hide anything or who I am. The first day he met me, I was on oxygen due to my condition and even than I was completely myself, and than that night I get a facebook request and from that day  on we’ve literally been inseparable. At that time I was enjoying the single life so much I almost just blew him off but something about this kid was different. He was so persistent. He’d talk to my sister and she finally convinced me to hang out with him. And I’ll never forget that night, and the next month that we spent together not rushing anything just getting to know each other, and this sounds SO stupid but it only took me two weeks to fall in love with kid. He would always beg me to come over and with my condition I can’t do much and he would just sit there with me all night and we’d talk and just lay there and we didn’t even need to do anything. He would watch the little rascals with me over and over again and never complained. After about a month and half or so we made it official and this was a leap for me but something just felt right. I was scared and happy and everything all at once. I was single for about 6 months and I got so used to it, and I told him all of this, and he was fine with it. I needed to learn how to coexist with somebody again. A few months into our relationship my condition turned really bad. I would go unconcious everyday, have seizures, forget days at a time and be the biggest bitch ever. And not once did he turn on his back on me and still hasn’t because all of this hasn’t stopped. He will sit there with me and I don’t remember anything when these things happen but when I come to he’s almost always there holding me and I feel safe. Sometimes my face will droop and he’ll kiss the side of my face and tell me you’re beautiful I love your droop and I can’t help but try to smile. I can’t even explain how I feel about him. He doesn’t know how much he’s appreciated and how the little things he does means so much to me. I know I need to sort out my trust issues because these aren’t his fault, and this is where it’s gonna begin. I can never take him for granted now matter how much he pisses me off sometimes and annoys me whenever I see him it just doesn’t even matter anymore. This is what actual love is and the fact that I have it now even though I’m young makes me feel so lucky and I hope he knows how lucky I am to have him. This kid is my everything, and I love him more than anything. Love isn’t about facebook statuses and rainbows it’s about who will love you at your worst, your best and pick you up when your at your lowest point and this is what Patrick does for me.  

My little brother has autism and for this he is my fight everyday. Don’t judge someone because they are different. You never know what could be going on, and people with autism you’ll find if you take the time to find out who they really are, they are some of the most beautiful people in the world. Take a stand and don’t hate.